Jeremy

This morning, whilst having coffee I was told via Facebook message that Jeremy had died yesterday in Montreal of a heart attack.
He was my co-worker for a year, his office across the hall. We used to play cards together; we drank too much at company dinners together; we even slept together.
I thought I should feel more when I heard. I guess I was in shock. Went to work, taught a class. No one else was there. I listened to a song, thought about him and couldn't stop crying. Then my co-workers came in and I was embarrassed but it was too late. I couldn't stop.
I cleaned up in the bathroom and taught the rest of the day but now I feel drained, even more so because Erin is coming up to Seoul tonight, should be at my apartment very soon and she and Jeremy were best friends.
I don't know if she knows.
I don't want to be the one who tells her.