C.
Dot and her friends
Ah, the FOOD!

A terrible pic of me, but the only one?? Damn.

Thanksgiving Dinner

I went to Thanksgiving dinner at Dot and Ian's place and there was so many people. I was expecting a few, but 40? 50? And a massive amount of food! Ate so much. I think, I also met every single foreigner in Suwon, or so it felt.
C. was also there, cute as ever. I tried really hard to keep my distance and by the end of the night he was coming over to me and chatting. It's hard to concentrate on anything else when speaking to him because all I can think is how darn cute he is. At one point he comes over and I said: "stop following me, it's embarrassing." Of course it was just a joke. Then I was sitting on the couch and he sat beside me, a girl whose name I can't remember sat on the other side of the couch and C. kept leaning right over me to talk to her/hear her. Little bugger knew exactly what he was doing. I could feel his heartbeat against his chest and it's no secret I think he's really hot...since I told him about 4 different times the first couple of nights I met him and let him kiss me. But I refuse to gush all over him anymore, that evening included. Just being friendly. It's so hard to be around him and not touch him. At one point, when we were at the pub earlier in the week, I had to leave the darts area and go sit at a table by myself because it was too much. I can't remember a time when I was so physically attracted to a man. It's a little brutal since I know full well he's "just not that into me." Made all the less into me because his best friend IS all that into me. And I'M not all that into his friend. It's all very, "Rules of attraction." Laura likes Paul, Paul likes Sean, Sean likes Laura. No one is happy. I think I just have to stay away from this situation for a while.
I went into the city last night and met up with Patrick for a few drinks and dinner. Excellent conversation, as usual. I'm pretty sure he's an INFJ, unfortunately, I'm just not physically attracted to him though I want to be. Why does romance have to be so damned difficult? One INFJ, I'm INSANE for and just wants to be the dreaded friends. The other is hot for me and me not so much. Grrr...
K. told me I grabbed and kissed him the other week when we were at dinner after the pub. I corrected him and told him that never happened. He argued with me, was insulted, thought I was too drunk and forgot but that night I was very sober and I never kiss and...forget. Finally, I convinced him of the truth. This is another reason I won't be going to the pub this week. Have to keep some distance between him and I as he is convinced he can get me to change my mind about sleeping with him, which isn't going to happen and I'm getting a little tired of telling him so.
I have three days off next week. What to do?
Ordered some stop smoking pills. Very ready to quit. Smoking far too much and I don't like it anymore. They should arrive next week and perhaps by my birthday I'll be smoke-free? Would be nice.

I will try to Fix You

Good song I found.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pY9b6jgbNyc

I've been wandering aimlessly for months; thinking of others, lost myself. Done things to excess and now I feel, I've reached the end. I'm beginning to feel free again, clear again. Even happy. Maybe the "lights are guiding me home?"

End of November...
and only 4 months left. Now that its such a short time, I feel like it will go by very fast. In just a few weeks time it'll be Christmas and then there will be a New Year.
I really want this New Year to come because this year sucked. Next year just really better be better.
T. texted me, invited me to Thanksgiving dinner on Saturday night. I said I'd go. A bunch of the people I'd met at the pub a few weeks back will be there. What to bring? Hm...
Rob invited me to his housewarming party on Sunday but I declined because I really doubt I'll be up for it after Saturday's party.
I met Kevin at the pub the other night, C. was there as well along with some others. But Kevin. was quite drunk actually and kept putting his hand on my leg, telling me how attracted he was to me; asking me where he was sleeping tonight, his place or mine.
It got tiring after a while; always asking him to remove his hand and telling him the same thing.
He apologized the next day on FB messenger and I met him at the pub last night and he was far better behaved, though I wonder if he'll stop going out for pints with me when he realizes I'm serious and gives up. O, well, there's nothing I can do about that.
He called a couple of his friends from Finland who are here studying Mechanical Engineering and they came. We drank and talked with them for a bit; young guys, good manner.
C. was on his way but I wasn't waiting; there's no way on God's green earth I'm going to spend another moment chasing after sb. who doesn't want me, thank you very much.
On the diet front, I've lost absolutely nothing this month. Thank God I didn't gain any though! Considering how much drinking I've been doing. I've not exercised in....what over a week and a half? Have to get back on it, time is running short to reach my goal.
I met Laurie and Woody in Itaewon on Sunday and we went for brunch at Suji's. I really liked it, the food more than the atmosphere. We went to the second level, there were huge windows everywhere overlooking the city, the ambiance of the place was so classy, I felt...I'd arrived. I like Seoul a lot for those kinds of places. Berlin's Chocolate martini's, and everytime I take the subway in, I pass Seoul Grand Park and the Museum and the Race Track and I think: 'I have to check these places out one day!' I could definitely do another year here and never see everything I want to see. I've never even been to Hongdae or that island Anne-Marie keeps telling me I should see: Dokdo, I think it's called.
I picked up a magazine from one of the restaurants in Itaewon and circled at least 7 different groups I was interested in joining...so much to do here. Salsa dance classes Sunday afternoon, Taekwondo, book groups, hiking groups, learning Korean, Photography shops. Ah, but most cost money, I'll have to wait until I get a new job in the New Year.
My hogwon job just convinces me more and more that I have to get an MA TESOL and work at a university where's it's far more stable and you actually get vacation! And the administration leaves you alone to do your job.
I taught the dreaded LONDON 2 class last week; got so angry at the rude boys that finally I became violent and physically grabbed two of the by their coat fronts, fisted up, lifted them up fast and strong, and kicked them out of the classroom. When I told Kevin (manager) he said: "o, really?" I could tell he disapproved but yesterday when I taught them...hm, good as gold. Just needed a little discipline the little shits. ;)
Sometimes they don't believe me, because I'm a foreigner. take for instance the case of the psycho student I taught in the summer in M5 class. A boy about...13 or 14...sitting in listening class, doing nothing except playing with his exacto knife! Staring at it, running it across his wrist lighly over and over again. And when I tell him to put it away he just gives me a challenging look. Well, I'm not going to try and take it away from him! I can tell a mile away this kid is nuts. Seriouly, mentally disturbed. So, I tell Kevin about this and he takes the kid out of the class, has a talk with him and later says to me, "it's okay, he was just cutting a thread off his shirt."
WHAT???
He believes the kid instead of me! Yeah, he cut a thread off his shirt 20 minutes ago and has since been sliding it over his wrist. But whatever, just left it alone.
Fast forward to last week. Sara, the korean teacher I like quite a lot and have become pretty good friends with, comes into the teachers room, shaking her head. "M5" she says, "that student."
"Oooh, I say, yeah, he's crazy."
"Yeah!" she says. "What's he doing now?" She askes me to peek through the class window and tell her.
I say, "He's sleeping on his desk."
Then she goes on to tell Kevin that the guy is crazy. that he's been playing with the exacto knife in her class and whispering in Korean: "kill. kill."
Seriously!!!
Not long after, this boy "quits" the school, but the moral of the story is, this only happens when a KOREAN teacher complains about a student.
It annoys me.

Hungry and Couldn't Sleep

Yesterday was Saturday and I slept a lot. Woke, drank green tea, smoked and went back to bed. Woke again at around 3 p.m. , drank coffee and went shopping at E-Mart. Had a sweet bowl of bulgogi soup with rice. Delicious. I had nothing in the house and was starving.

Almost bought some pants then didn't. Was supposed to go to game night with Terry but she ended up going to dinner with her sister. Tried to sleep around midnight; couldn't. Too HUNGRY! Went to the local pub for a Guiness draft and some chicken, ate only half. It wasn't very good.

Texted Kevin, he came by an hour later. Played darts and drank a little more until nearly 4 a.m. I wriggled some interesting info out of him, such as he used to be a male prostitute (sorry "jigalo") in Paris when he was 17! Ah...the interesting people you meet abroad.

I'm heading into the city for brunch with Woody and Laurie today. They're leaving for Canada soon, one month for Christmas with the family. Jealous! And I'll miss having them here then. I was supposed to have Christmas with them but now, will I go to Jeju to have it at Kendra's house? I don't know.

I might get those expensive (I'm talking Sex 'n the City "expensive) boots I saw about a month back if they're still there. I don't feel like drinking again, will I stay in Itaewon and end up at the pub again? I've been drinking entirely too much lately. Not sure why. The cold? A little bored? Feeling better and up for meeting new people again? Maybe all of the above.


Right now, I'm simply looking forward to finishing my contract and traveling with Nadine. Maybe Anne-Marie will come as well? Even Danila said: "I'm there, literally, at a cafe waiting for you!" It would truly be great if they came along. Especially Anne-Marie; she's so much fun and a really great person and friend. She was really there for me and supportive in my time of need and I'll never forget it. Love her for it! I hope someday to be able to pay her back for her kindness in some way.

This Kevin guy is very optimistic; sometimes I think, unrealistically so but I could use a little more optimism in my life. I will look on the bright side and hope for the best. I will let what is done be done; learn from my mistakes, try not to repeat them. Be grateful for the things I have, the people I've met and the times we've shared together. My heart is full of love and warmth for those I love even though I know, I always love them more than they love me. The INFP curse of having the ability to love so deeply perhaps?

In short, things are going well for me. I' m looking forward to the new year and a new beginning.

Going Away Party

I was in a fabulous mood all yesterday. When I left work it was snowing! I stood in the wet for a while trying to find a taxi and when I got one I headed to the sauna/spa -- the really nice one I like. It was a little piece of heaven. Usually, I get the scrub but this time I just decided to buy the soaps and do it myself because I had to shave my legs anyway. The hot water was soooo nice on such a cold day. Did I mention that my workplace is freezing?? Everyone gathered around the gas heaters like a fire, blowing on and warming their hands. My shoes suck, so my feet are freezing everyday. I have my eye on a pair of really nice boots but...ah, expensive!

I had the opportunity to put my new rule/s into action last night and I was successful! Let me explain.

After the sauna, I went to the local pub where the good-bye party was supposed to be, but it was only ten so no one was there yet. Into my 2nd beer, K (we'll call him) and his friend who I've never met before, show up. K is very attractive; but he's one of those guys who knows it, I think. Though he's very friendly and likable, he has zero trouble getting women.
His friend was tall, dark and handsome as well. (big smile). And married (bummer). But interesting! (content). We talked for a couple of hours he and I. He's French, from Paris! Ah, so of course I thought of H. and when he said he was French he said: "sorry, no one is perfect."
I said, "I like the French."
"Really? It's the first time I've heard that."
Some things were a little funny like when I made some comment about French people having their spouse, their lover and their mistress:
"Pffft. It's not true. French women cheat a lot, but French men are very serious." He tells me.
Fast forward an hour later and he tells me his wife is at home, he likes to go out drinking with friends and "sometimes it 'happens' sure." Then he tells me I'm pretty and when I say, I think he's very attractive and if he was single, for sure, but I don't fool around with married people or even with guys who have girlfriends, he shrugs it off.
"Yeah, you say that now, but after a few more drinks."
"No. I tell him, "about this I am very firm."
He's extremely congenial, talkative, fun and interesting. He says we met two years too late. My ego is sufficiently stroked.
The evening wears on. K. comes over and the French guys says to him, "gimme a kiss." K. puts his hand over the French's cheek and kisses his hand. I say, "where's my kiss?" Touching my cheek and smiling.
"You." He says, and takes my face in his hands and gives me a full on kiss! Whou hou!
Then he wants to leave, wants us three to have a drink at his apartment. Somehow I think this'll be harmless enough (did I mention the room was spinning for me an hour back? hadn't eaten in about 8 hours, went to the sauna, drank a shot of tequila K. had bought for me). But then, I get outside and realize, if I go back, something will happen and K. is quite drunk and is quite a bit ahead of me and the French guy. The French says, "let's go somewhere and have another drink, K. is too drunk anyway."
"I should go home before I get into any trouble." I say. "The taxi's are right there. But you have my number, yeah?"
When I get home and crawl under the covers I get a text from him that reads: "Wise choice. Good night Amanda!"

T. invited me over to her house for game night tonight. It should be fun, though I always lose at games...

Really, really wish I could get McDonalds delivered. So damned hungry!!

I was in a pissy mood last night. Ansy. Needed to go out and thought it would be one of those nights I'd just drink alone, meet no one and go back home miserable. My Korean ex-coworker didn't want to meet me for food or a drink because his friend couldn't speak English and was too shy so I went to the pub at the university station near my house.
I had a few beers alone at the bar; bought some young Korean guys next to me a few drinks as one of them was going into the army to do his mandatory 2-years. Poor bastard. Then I ordered seven shots of tequila and brought them over to the table of foreigners I wanted to meet. First time I've ever done that. They were excited and said, "Where did you come from?" And we laughed. Then another said, "No really where did you come from? You're an angel from heaven!" I was happy and we drank and talked for hours.
One of the guys was really cute and completely my type. I wanted to tell him but didn't. Just flirted shamelessly and when I apologized, he just laughed and said he didn't mind at all. I imagined slipping my hand under his shirt, just to feel his skin; but of course, I didn't. I wanted to take him home but remembered my new "rule" of doing nothing with no one after I've had two drinks and so, I just gave him my number and hope to see him again.

The "rule" came about because of what happened a few weekends ago: I went to the pub with a friend of mine and ended up (somehow) going home with a very attractive, 35 - year-old Mexican Engineer who was here on business. And, while admittedly, it was the best sex of my life, I later found out (the following weekend my friend told me) that he was married! The bastard. No ring, no mention of wifey to me. I'd even asked him (when we were in bed -- a little late sure, but still. And I'd asked him because I "sensed" something of the sort) and he'd said, "No, why?" I'd replied, "good". But my friend said, at the pub -- perhaps when I was in the washroom or talking with the German? -- that he'd said he was married and even showed him a photo! Hence the new "rule". I left the next morning when he was in the shower.


The owner of my school, Mrs. Kim sold the school to a former teacher who used to work there 3 years ago. Everyone is pissed off about it because she didn't even bother to have a meeting with us to tell us about it. No respect. Bad blood at work now. The new guy, Dixon seems cool though, but it's stressful having a new boss. The devil you know and all of that.

Last weekend I went into Seoul and shopped with Laurie in Mokdong. Great area, lively, busy, flashing neon everywhere, packed streets. Afterwards we went to see Battle of the Bands at Stompers in Itaewon. Last band was the best. Singer was attractive, good voice, soulful. I liked and wanted to meet him but Laurie and Woody wanted to go home and I never told them about this. However, tonight I'll probably head into the city and go there again. Maybe I'll see him?

At the coffee shop the next afternoon, I met a guy I'd talked with before at the bookstore. We talked for several hours, had dinner and talked some more then went to the bookstore, then the pub. By the time I went home it was past midnight and we'd been talking for over 12 hours! Very interesting fellow. Though he had a light in his eyes I couldn't quite figure out but read as something dangerous. He's been texting me all week and perhaps I'll run into him again soon, but I think, just for friendship.